Friggin flies

Why does India have to be so infected ? what is the problem.
Every house that I have been part of, there has been some kind of an irritation or the other. Really. what is the problem ?
Chennai - T. Nagar - Mosquitoes. atleast 20-30 killed a day. I think my dad had that as his other occupation.
Chennai - Annanagar - Lizards. No wait. First mosquitoes. Hundreds of them. and one lizard. maybe two. they were small and frail back then... in a matter of months they had become healthy, and were qualified movers on the turf. The turf was a small passage which connected the hall to the different bedrooms and the kitchen. There was a fridge on the way, the lizards abode. Man how many times has my mom come running out squealing to the hall, scared by a lizard or having stamped on one of them. One thing has to be said about lizards (atleast the ones at home then). They were fearless and focussed.
We used to eat food on ground, in the hall. The lizards would come almost a foot close to us, following a flying mosquito(which of course used to roam around aimlessly till it was slapped down by one of us). We would at times get up and move away (almost respectfully) while the lizard would have its eyes glued on the damn fly.
Bangalore Koramangala - Mosquitoes. Flies. Cockroaches. Not too many mosquitoes in comparison to Chennai, but all the same big ones which would probably suck out equal amount of blood all the same.
Cockroaches are a major problem. They are not the swiftest of movers, but they fly around at the right times. Wasps are also a pain, since u dont wanna go too close to them but still wanna get rid of them. God why cant I open the windows on a saturday morning for some fresh air ? Dont flies get an off on weekends ?
Bangalore Kalyan Nagar - Flies. I stay in the fourth floor, and most flies dont really venture out that high. So those who reach the fourth floor are probably fighters in life. So they will pain the shit out of u.
They would fly above ur head, get into your t-shirt through the small gap behind ur neck. They would fly for some time and stop at some place on the floor (probably right in front of me).. and then smell the air.. then walk around a little and then just when I am getting ready to smack it, fly away to their new location.
The only approach to these things is the one which my friend followed - take ur slipper and nail it wherever it is (I remember he nailed one fly on a calendar, which had the picture of God. Then he put the slipper down and prayed for forgiveness). Kill 'em all !

Coding or Carbonating?

I learnt Chemical Engg. I learnt coding. I am now doing the latter for a living. But how much do i miss the former? Am i satisfied with the latter?
Hmm... giving it some thought, i do miss chemistry. i do miss some aspects of chemical engg. but overall it has been a very pleasant experience. Let me pen down things i like.
Obviously i prefer logic to knowledge. I also prefer structured solution to problems. I still love my operations research concepts... atleast whatever i learnt. job scheduling, travelling salesman problem, ant colony algorithm, genetic algorithms... neural networks... all very interesting. i like some chemical engg topics too.... reaction kinetics.. and organic chemistry!!! (pause... let me feel that again... wow).. amazing topic. do i miss them? maybe not. maybe i would be better off having my organic chemistry in note books... but maybe industrial engineering (job scheduling, tsp, etc)... i do miss them... and i will look forward to any chance to get to these topics...
Hope i can somehow have my coding and also get IE as added bonus in the future...
God bless!

Wake me up when the weekend ends...

What is it about time that we dont realize till its gone....
Yes i know we like to sleep little less than half of it. we work for long hours in office... yes but where are my weekends? Yes once a month i visit my parents... but the remaining two weekends per month? where the hell did they go? what did i do those 96 hours?ok what did i do for the 48 hours i was awake....
no biking... no clubbing... movies... say two movies per month. ok even four. thats about 15 hours maxxx...
sad. very sad.

Fever fixation!

Dear Sir,
As I am suffering from fever I will be unable to attend office this week. Kindly grant leave and oblige.
Regards,
X.

Not a familiar situation for me to be writing this letter.. but this is not about my recent viral infection. I spent most of my time trying to while away loads of time meant for 'resting'. In the process I thought about some of the most easiest ways to spend time when u have nothing to do of it.
Case 1. No internet.
Well, if u dont have internet connection, I must say you are handicapped. Not that you cannot find out ways, but just that there are fewer things fever patients can do.
Of course you would think of tv as a viable option. But if you are like me, who cannot tolerate mega-(mega-mega-mega-mega-)serial shit, and if the indian cricket match is not being telecasted or match has been abandoned due to rain, then the options are low.
If you have interest in movies, then there must always be a decent one running at a point of time.
Else what you can do is sudoku. Almost every newspaper has it and its good time pass.
Else you can read some book (fever time your eyes can pain very soon, so its not very easy).
radio - my city certainly has good radio stations and this is really good timepass...
Or just lie down and think of how you could clean/arrange/rearrange your shelves.
Or make a list of songs you would like to download, movies that you wanna watch. or things you wanna complete once u r alrite.
Case 2. Got internet.
Check mails.
Write mails. This is the best time for you to catch up with some old buddies.
Write blogs.
www.mousebreaker.com.
Smack the pingu for sometime.
chat with friends.
get cricket commentary online.
google earth.
orkut communities.
I am sure you will get more as and when you start clicking these links...
of course sudoku online is an option.
Well you of course need to be feeding yourself well... so take some biscuits and a bottle of water, and you will find yourself doing a lot of good timepass even when you are down with fever :-)
Yes I could have forgotten some very important and interesting ways of keeping one self occupied... well thats why you have a comments section!

Up...up....and thud!

No..no...this is not where I become the philosopher and start lecturing about life...nor will I start a new polotical party...nor a finance company...
This is about a small little journey I recently had when I had been to Hyd, for the death of a very close friend. I wish to not beat around the bush...here is the story...
We had to urgently book tickets...and for availability purposes we decided on an airline...and then it began...
take off went off without any real issues....in fact pretty good by normal standards.....till about 2 mins passed by....
then it just seemed another flight came and gently sat on top of the plane....the sudden jerk made seat belts look rather efficient...
it was as though my TVS victor is being driven (or being tried to) at velocities beyond its scope...or maybe the plane's wings were getting tired, so the plane tried to relax one wing at a time and meanwhile balance with the other...some witty comments that someone at one end was farting, surfaced too.....
and then they came with some serving tables....Lays...mmmm......
X: "Can I have one Lays please..."
Y: "Sure. Would you like chaat street or "
X: "Chaat street"
Y: "That would be twenty rupees,Sir"
An expression of extreme constipation cropped up...what? he's selling me stuff....billions of blue blistering barnacles......
the safety instructions were read out so fast, the hostesses who were supposed to enact the instructions couldnt catch up with the speed...and gave up in between!
of course i would not have made it safe to hyd, but for the ample skills of the pilot.... considering he has to work with a machine like the one we were in... and there was Dil sitting on one end of the plane.... but then.... i must say i DID experience the difference!!

Centre of M(y)ass

All of us know English is a wonderful language, and thats probably why it is being used for most of the business transactions all over the world. And thats also probably why it is the most badly used one as well.
Mishaps apart, many a time the user simply does not really understand the correct way of pronounciation (remember, this word is pro-nuns-e-a-shun and not otherwise). That was why the maid servant would not admit her son/daughter to the iscole(school). Or why the car-washing guy would ask for the bagudu(bucket!) or the cycle shop guy would charge me Rs. 80 for a new tip(tube!).
Sometimes its just bad spelling or wrong spelling, like "I had to go pick my dad from the airpot(airport)" or "The committee was worried as a hole(whole)". There are also instances where the inadequacy of the English language to express a sound completely(ask Mpumelelo Mbangwa).vazhi. It is also advised to avoid letting the auto driver "take you to your destiny"(destination).
Some cases arise due to irregular or no cleaning of tongue, leading to letters like p replaced with f. Typical of this would be a frofessor asking his students of a ferfect ferformance in the next exam. And the dhobi guy telling you that the rates for fants has increased.fretty fainful isnt it? Some letters are just replaced by people, which leads to natishcape(netscape), ishtik(stick) and dag(dog).
But it becomes tricky when the usage of call needs to be understood when i call up someone, call on a new ball bowler, call out for help, the usage of pull when i pull out of a tournament,pull up my socks and pull a hamstring, etc. Words like rendezvous and enterpreneur dont make things better.
So next time anyone tells me the verbal section in CAT is easier than the other sections, I will pull out a hammer and take him to his destiny.

Kenny's day out

There he sits in a corner place, far away from his mates and close to the window. Kenny looks dreamily at the computer in front of him.
Kenny is in Bangalore, the IT capital of India, on the seventh floor of a building belonging to a well known IT company. His training is going on and the day is very boring, usually no work and learning for an hour or more for the day. Tired of checking mails, reading the newspaper, chatting with his friends, checking mails, re-reading the newspaper... he looks through the window. He sees a distant aeroplane flying, lots of trees below him. He sees a cricket ground nearby,birds flying around the flood lights of the same. He sees clouds drift by, and their reflections through the glass of the outer parts of the building. He wonders, "Couldn't I have anything else in my life that could have been more interesting than this? Oh God! please listen to me, listen to my plea!".
He turns toward his desk, opens the drawer and closes it. His attention turns towards his watch. It ticks by, second after second, minute after minute. And just as he finishes thinking about it, he notices the watch has come to a halt.
Oh,no. Not again. The battery of this damn thing needs to be changed again. He looks at the clock on his desktop. It doesnt move as well. He waits for some time ,his eye glued to the clock. It doesnt move for a long time. Kenny is confused.
He looks through the window, and to his amazement, finds a huge grey cloud right in front of him, just outside the window. And instantaneously, a person clad in white appears before him sitting on the cloud, as though he came out of nowhere.
"I am God. Tell me what you want and I shall see what I can do."
Kenny scratches his eyes in disbelief. Does it again. Nothing special happens. Kenny thinks maybe its true!
Kenny: "Thank you for coming. I needed your help badly"
God: "What is it you want, my child?"
Kenny ponders for a while.
"I would like to be the ruler of the world".
God was taken aback. "Not possible. I dont have administrator rights myself".
"Aargh. All right. I would like to be Chief Minister of Karnataka".
"Why would you want a disk which already has bad sectors. I would not like to give you something so bad. Ask for something better", God said.
"Eh..What about CEO of this company?" Kenny replied.
"I do not have write access to the database,son. I would not be able to do it. If there is anything else I could do for you, like buy you some chocolate, or find you a good house to live in, or get you an A4 sheet...".
"A4 sheet???? Kiss mah black @ss!!".
God got infuriated by now. He plucked Kenny out of his seat, pulled him out of the window and dropped him from the seventh floor.
A person falling from such altitudes is destined go reach the God instantly. But Kenny got up, badly bruised.
Just then a big desktop fell from nearly the same heights as he fell from. Surely he was a goner.
But no, Kenny would survive to tell the story.
Nearly the same time he got up, a crow flying at about the building got cramped, lost flight and crash landed into the bleeding head of Kenny.
Oh! My God! You killed Kenny! You b4st4rds!